Friday, March 22, 2013

Grow like a plant

Through my life I face the phenomena that society demands me to put labels on myself and to be able to formulate, what do I want to do with my life. I don’t really have a clue, so I just say something that feels appropriate in the moment. Yet what do you want is a question for the brain. You may also consider what your heart has to say about that.

During one of the lectures I heard something that struck me. He said, the universe has a plan with you. Let go of what you want and tune in to what the universe wants with you. And then you grow into that person.
Would that not be amazing? Just to grow like a plant, effortless and towards the sun?

So how do you do that? How do you tune in with the universe’s will? How do you hear the call of your spirit?

"How surely gravity's law,
strong as an ocean current,
takes hold of even the smallest thing
and pulls it toward the heart of the world.

Each thing -
each stone, blossom, child -
is held in place.

Only we, in our arrogance,
push out beyond what we each belong to
for some empty freedom.

If we surrendered
to earth's intelligence
we could rise up rooted, like trees.

Instead we entangle ourselves
in knots of our own making
and struggle, lonely and confused.

So, like children, we begin again
to learn from the things,
because they are in God's heart;
they have never left him.

This is what the things can teach us:
to fall,
patiently to trust our heaviness.
Even a bird has to do that
before he can fly."


- Rainer Maria Rilke


For me the first step is to create a safe place and give myself the time. Because circumstance is everything.

I was visiting a little patch of forest the other day. It is one of the last remaining patches of the original Caledonian forest in Scotland. One of the last remaining patches of original forest in Europe. It is tiny tiny. A few hours to walk around. And it is dying, you look around and see only old trees, but no young ones. At first. If you look closer, you find the young ones, close to the ground. Without leaves, tiny bare branches. They are not so young actually, some of them are more than 20 years old. The overpopulated deer keeps eating them off, year by year. They never grow into a tree.

There is a seed in each one of us, and the universe is calling on that seed. Yet most of those seeds never grow up. They are tied by responsibilities, expectations, fear, lack of education, rationality, and so on. There is a saying that you are the average of the 5 person you spend the most of your time with. What if your circumstances eat your growth off day by day, year by year?

A safe place is not a place of comfort. It is a place where I am inspired to step out of my comfort and take challenges, experiment with my personality, with my connection to others, expand my boundaries. In a safe place people surround me who hold me in that process without expectations, and support me should I get stuck. In the end we are all human - yet how many people you allow to see you really?


@ Meall a' Bhuachaille, Cairngorms


Saturday, March 2, 2013

Full Moon


I remember a summer night in Budapest back in 2011. I was cycling through Margit bridge scanning the sky excited for the total lunar eclipse that day. Just a few people were standing on the bridge watching the moon. There were a few minutes until the eclipse begun so I cycled a little further to be on my own by the riverbank. The traffic just flew on endlessly. Probably most of the people did not even know about it, why would anyone look at the sky? I remember the feeling that struck me that evening – how disconnected we are from nature, from our ancestors. I felt alone in a city that didn’t care.

Full moon occurs every 4-5 weeks. Yet in Findhorn it is a time for meditation. A time for celebration, to light a fire and sing. A time for gratitude. It is our moon, one and only, and beautiful.

We forgot and lost so much of our heritage. Not knowing our roots we destroy and damage all that gave birth to us. Nature is dying and is in unbearable pain. Yes, pain. I understood this in the Amazon rain forest:  the true untouched wilderness is a living entity, full of life, full of spirits. You feel it’s presence when walking within. I never knew nature like that before. Planted forests, destroyed ecosystems, agricultural lands don’t carry spirits. They are raped slaves. They just stand there with pain yet with everlasting patience.

Pain. We all carry nature’s pain. And more and more of us are conscious of it. This is not a civilization of fulfillment. This is a civilization without past and without identity. This is a civilization that believes in growth and individuality. And here you have it, people enslaving themselves to be able to buy a little happiness. What we have lost is incredible. So far from nature. So far from each other.

Yet we all crave unity. The moments when we are all one. Alcohol will certainly break some of those barriers. But could you experience oneness day by day? Where does one tree end and the forest begin? Where does one person end and another begin? Where is my edge and where does nature begin?

I want to be of service in healing Mother Nature and our connection with it. In Findhorn I understood, that I’m the one who needs healing first.


Sunday, February 10, 2013

Critical Mass


I thought I'm pretty open-minded. But when in a group of people you find yourself in a way 'least spiritual', or rather the most skeptic, is frustrating. Suddenly you question your life experience a lot. 

How do you adopt a totally new way of thinking? (or feeling?) Day 2 and I feel I have to hammer my brain to stay open, to receive, to participate. Would be so easy to put my usual labels on what is happening, but I have no partner for that. Frustrating, but probably lucky.

This is why you got to jump into things out of the usual context. It feels like falling into a hole, and immediately you try to get hold on something familiar, hasting with your hand to find another. If you find that hand you may climb back to what you call 'normal'. But if you can give it time, you may eventually fall deeper and meet something new. Not that I say it's easy.

“Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whorever you are, no matter how lonely,
The world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.”

(Mary Oliver – Wild geese)


Saturday, February 9, 2013

Perception of impossible

Travel notes from Luton airport and the train to Forres

How should we approach the whole global crisis and sustainability? Have a look at my theory about how we perceive the impossible: 


Taken my theory, my position is clearly in the realist. A collapse of civilization seems inevitable, very likely inside my lifetime. Not that I worry for my safety, I know I can make an easy life for myself even when states are failing over my head. I’m worried to see myself reluctant and unbelieving that whatever I do can make a difference, I struggle to find a hold on the big global thing. Where should I contribute?

So my quest is partly this: to transition from being a realist, into being a believer. To face all the data, all the facts, all the scary prospects but in the face of all that be able to truly believe in a sustainable world coming and be passionate about making it happen. Because a believer makes the impossible possible. Would I be able to do that?


First night in Scotland: couchsurfing in Aberdeen, a city of sea gulls, Hogwarts like buildings and church-pubs. My amazing hosts welcomed me with dinner, and over some pálinka and Scottish ale we discussed this and that. I’m glad I’m here, I love travelling, I feel alive.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Start.

On my way to Findhorn, a perfect official start for this blog. In the movie an asshole handicapped soldier becomes a spiritual nature freak, a hero and the savior of the planet (and also hooks up with the hottest girl around). I hope you understand the analogy, and the blog title.
First thing first, the guy is fed up with his situation, and so jumps into the unknown (an other planet actually). So here we go, Scotland that is!